TRAPPED IN THE WRONG BODY

TRAPPED IN THE WRONG BODY
17 Jul2014
3,065 0

           

Aaron Brown “Talulah”, 20 make-up artist, Derby

Growing up I had always known I was supposed to be a woman. I was really feminine, my gran Patricia (now 69) understood me, but my mum Tracy (now 41) tried to get me to play football and other macho activities. But my gran would buy be girls' clothes.

When I was eight I heard a group of people having a conversation about someone being gay, because they liked boys.

I liked boys too, so I assumed I was gay aswell. I asked my mum what gay meant to double check if I was right, but she made it sound bad. So I decided not to say anything.

I was really shy at school and would comfort eat because I was so stressed and confused as to who I really was. I was bullied quite a lot by the other kids.

When I turned 14 I stopped eating as much and lost a lot of weight and people started to accept me more. So when I came out at school, nobody was even surprised let alone angry about it.

However, my mum struggled with it for a while and I moved back to my grans for a few weeks, but eventually my mum accepted my sexual orientation.

But I wasn't really gay and I knew it. I started wearing women's clothes, dyed my hair pink and wore make-up.

Slowly an alter ego emerged called “Talulah,” but I realised this alter-ego was actually me. It was who I really was.

For the last year I have lived as a woman full time, not just on nights out or at home. I dress as a woman if I am popping to the shop for a pint of milk.

Now I wear a fake wig, put fillers in my bra and wear sexy clothes. It feels so natural to me.

I was nervous walking out in public and people would make comments, but gradually I have got more confident and enjoy going out as Talulah.

Now I want to start taking hormones, get cosmetic surgery and eventually the full sex operation.

I spoke to my doctor told that I have to live as a woman for two years until they can sanction a sex change. I'm not sure I can wait that long and might go to Thailand where it costs £3k

I have a consultation with my GP in next couple of weeks and hopefully he will prescribe me hormone treatment. Then I will get a boob job, because you need the hormones to build up breast tissue before you can get breast augmentation.

I haven't had any other cosmetic surgery, as I have already have feminine features, but I desperately need laryngeal surgery as my Adam's apple sticks out too much.

I have never been in a relationship as Talulah, but I get a lot of attention from straight guys but I haven't gone there yet.

For the moment I am just happy to be young, free and single and enjoying finally being able to live as the woman I always have been.

Jordan Flanagan, 18, Greater Manchester, studies dance at college

Like all transgender people, I was born in the wrong body with the wrong genitalia. But I didn't want to seem different so I wore boy's clothes, but I never hung around with boys. I had literally nothing in common with them.

I spent all my time with girls, I had a draw full of dolls and was really into my fashion, no other boys at my school were like me. I loved playing with the girls, I wouldn't have dreamed of playing football on the school yard.

I reckon I was five when I realised I wasn't supposed to be a man, and I was very shy about who I really was.

But since the age of 5-6 I have been dressing as a woman, but only at home. I dressed up in my aunty and nan's clothes and would wear make-up in my bedroom.

I once even dressed up as cat woman wearing my nan Rita, 54 bra and I was jumping around the room, like the feminine movie superhero does.

However, it is only in the last two years that I have dressed as a woman full time. It was difficult at first and sometimes I still get a bit shy dressing as a woman, especially in places I have never been before.

I was bullied a bit at school as the other kids knew I was different, but it wasn't too bad and I could handle it.

Most boys' role models are football stars but mine was and still is Tyra Banks. She is also my inspiration to be a model.

I also want to look like Rhianna and Rita Ora, they are my idols. They are so glamorous and edgy and that is the look I want. I try and copy their fashion sense.

I am an only child and my dad Dave, 40 left when I was five. My mum Vicky, 37 brought me up.

I finally came out when I was 15, all my friends and family suspected so it came as no shock when I told them. I was worried how they might react but it was one of the easiest things I have done. I am so glad they have been so understanding.

Unlike most transgender people I kept the name on my birth certificate as I was christened Jordan.

I have always had a feminine figure and my body is changing without even hormones. However, I want to start taking them soon as they help me to develop breasts.

I don't really want any other surgery about from the sex change, which I hope to get in the future

I am not ready to date at the moment as I am just finding my feet living as a woman. I am happy with who I am and I am sure the right person is out there somewhere waiting for me.

Kandis Keating, 28, unemployed North London

I was born in a council estate in North London as boy called Jamie, but since the age of four I knew I wasn't supposed to be a boy, I was really a female. I was always playing with the girls and their dolls. I was more feminine then they were!

My mum Tracey (now 49) would find me playing with prams and buggies. She even asked my teacher if I was normal.

I started taking my brother Tom's (now 31) girlfriend's morning after pill when I 15, as I thought it would give me a boost of female hormones.

I took the pill for four months and it did make a difference, my breasts and nipples grew.

It gave me the confidence to tell my parents that I wanted to be a girl. I think they already suspected and were fine with it. They were sure I was gay anyway. My dad Steve (now 50) said it was like having a daughter anyway.

I changed my name to Kandis via deed poll on my 16th birthday. I had small hands, small feet and my voice didn't break so I was very feminine anyway.

I have never been sexually attracted to women. I even used to hang around the Cumberland estate, in a girl gang, as a “boy.” But I was still bullied by the local kids, as I was different.

I grew my hair shoulder length and wore jumpers, even in summer, to cover my flat chest. I even put a scarf down my top to make it look I had boobs.

I got my first boyfriend Scott (now 32) when I was 17. I was totally flat chested but had been taking hormones.

When I told him I wasn't a full woman yet, he freaked out but he accepted it and moved in with me after a week.

He bought my first boob job when I was 18, he even came with me to the hospital. Taking me from almost nothing to a 36E, costing him £3,500

We lasted about two years until we split up, we had just drifted apart.

I got my second boob job when I was 20, taking me to a 36 E, it cost £4,000. I have also had my lips done that cost £900 and cheek filler that also cost £900.

I was engaged in 2007 to Alex (no 31) who I had been dating for four years, but he became jealous as I was developing into a really sexy woman.

I got the full sex change on 11th May 2009, which cost £15,000. I was finally the woman you should always have been. It was worth every penny, it was piece of the jigsaw.

I have been approached numerous times to strip or model in the straight community.

Men never have any idea I used to be a man until I tell them. I have been single for four months but I am now looking for love.

 

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