I have slept with 140 men…and I kept score
As she flicks through her diary Sandy Nardo, 53, Dublin, smiles to herself at the memory of number 37 Stefano, a Swarthy Italian who was great in bed, but didn't have any cash. It was years ago but she remembers it like it was yesterday, because she gave him a comprehensive score. This is because Sandy's' diary contains a list of every man she has ever been romantically attached to, with a complex colour coded ranking system.
She says: “I was a quiet and reserved girl and I didn't lose my virginity until I was 19. My other friends at convent school were all having sex, but I wasn't so eager. I actually listened to the nuns, unlike the rest of my classmates!
“I lost my virginity to Luciano (21 at time) He was a musician I had known for years. I was hitching at the time and I was staying with him in Milan. Being in Italy made me feel free and I wanted to explore my sexuality. The first time we tried it didn't really work as I didn't really know what I was doing, but a few nights later we got cosy and it worked.
“However, I felt everyone was looking at me, I felt self-conscious, I couldn't let myself go. Even when I walked down the street afterwards I felt as if everyone was looking at me and they knew what had just happened in the bedroom.”
Sandy stayed with him for a few more weeks and she began to enjoy sex and lost all her old inhibitions. After a few weeks she said goodbye to her lover and hitched down to Sicily. He would be the first in literally a long list of lovers.
She says: “I had always kept a diary and wrote and drew things in it from a very early age. When I was hitching I would get friends to draw funny little pictures in there. I also love to keep lists. I am obsessed with it. I have a yearly, monthly, weekly and daily list that I keep.
“I decided it made sense to have a list of my love life, so I devised a scorecard system. I kept a score of each man I was with. I thought it would be a good memento; a personal diary with statistics. It took me ages to work out how to evaluate it. Eventually I decided to use five sections, emotional state, sex/kissing, looks, solvency and duration. I even colour coded them.”
Mum of one, Marco 28, travelled the world as a burlesque dance and a translator. She was trained as a dancer in Covent Garden, which was exciting, but also spent a year translating for a Swedish millionaire's paper company.
She says: “I have travelled the world all my life and I have slept with men from over 30 countries. I enjoy the variety in life, and why shouldn't I? I loved to be spoilt and looked after by men. I worked in a different city few days and it was nice to get some company, and as they say variety is the spice of life. I wanted to enjoy everything about the country I was in, especially the men.
Although she was having a lot of fun she admitted she was addicted to sex.
She says: “I was addicted to the comfort a man gave me but also the sex. Sex gives you a release of the oxitocin chemical, which my body craved. Even though I was addicted to sex, I never got professional help.
“I did love the sex but I also loved teasing a man – it's all such a delicious game. I'm like a cat lining up the mice for my own pleasure.”
All the time she kept her sex diary, she has never revealed to her partners that she was secretly scoring them. There have been a lot of lovers but she has a clear best and worst.
She says: “The highlight of my list was a guy called Mack who I slept with for 20 years on and off. He was the best man I have ever been with, the sex was great, he was funny. But even he didn't tick all the categories. No man ever has. If someone did I would never leave them, sadly I am not sure such a man exists.
“I was totally in love with him, but I have been in love many times, usually with two or three men at once. Love can be a dangerous thing so you need more than one man, so you heart can never be broken.”
“The worst was guy was a married English banker I met in 1994, which lasted year and a half. He said he was going to leave his wife for me, but he just didn't do it for me. It is strange I put up with him for so long, but I guess his money was a big draw. I didn't feel bad if they had a partner, that was their problem, not mine.
“Most of my men were single but I also had my share of affairs with the unattainable. Those married to their work, themselves, sometimes even their wives.”
Her bookkeeping is remarkable and looking through the results there is a wide range of scores, some lovers reached high scores, some have barely made the grade, but they have all been meticulously recorded, literally giving her the bottom line.
She says “There have been 140 so it would be easy to forget! I wanted to remember them all even the rubbish ones. I have no regrets of what I have done, sometimes it was mind blowing sometimes it was mind numbing but they are all experiences that made me the woman I am today.
Sandy has not always played the field she didn't settle down once, but it didn't last long.
She says: “I married an Italian guy Rico, 30 in 1985 when I lived in Milan. We were together for a year before he proposed. We were married in a small ceremony, none family came, but they sent some rosary beads in an envelope. But we got divorced after only six months. It was a stormy and turbulent relationship and it was never going to work out.
Sandy continued to travel the world meeting with men and documenting her experiences. However in 2008, she had to return to her native Ireland to look after her sick mother Marie, 87 who is suffering with senile dementia.
Her son who until recently lived at home despairs at her mum's antics and her refusal to grow up.
She says: “He used to be angry about me and how I live my life, but he has come to accept me, this leopard will never change its spots and why should I? Sometimes at parties I would introduce him as my little brother rather than my son, but he never let on.
“I guess we are bit like the mother/son version of the relationship in the TV show Absolutely Fabulous. He is very sensible, he doesn't drink, smoke or gamble. I love all those things dearly.
“He didn't like the fact that I travelled a lot when we were younger, however if he ever said he hated one of my boyfriends I would dump them for him. “
As Sandy gets older she doesn't get as much action as she used to but she constantly refers back to her diary to reminisce about her kinky past.
She says: “When I read through the diary, I realise I was a very lucky girl. I had some wild experiences including a few threesomes and having sex in the same room as another couple. I remember having a threesome with a girl and a banker called Carlo in Sicily, that was fun. I remember my husband and his dentist's friend and his wife all had a steamy night in one room, that was a crazy night”
Sandy might be in her early 50s but she still has an appetite for sex, sadly due to her mother's ill health she doesn't feel she can get out there and play the field.
She says: “I'm getting older so it is harder to meet men. I still enjoy sex, why wouldn't I? It is the most natural thing on earth. However, at the moment I have to tend to my mum all I have is memories and my beloved list.
“I hope to get back to my old ways again sometime. I still have a lot of love to give, it would be great to meet up with some of my old playmates and have that life again.”
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