Cougar Town

Cougar Town
06 Aug2014
2,689 0

In the modern world, these modern women know what they want, and its hot younger men…

Andy, 32 & Samantha White, 49 Nottingham

I met Andy three years ago when I was in the gym, he works there and we got chatting about how to get fit. He gave me some pointers and I really liked him, he made me laugh and was obviously very fit, in both ways!

I currently don't work due to an accident, but I am a qualified hairdresser, so looking good is important to me. We found out that we also had something else in common, a child of the same age. (now both nine)

Andy asked me how old I was, but I wouldn't tell him until we had had a few dates. When I told him he was already hooked and he was fine with it. I wasn't hiding it from him. I just wanted him to get to know me as a person not a number.

My parents were not happy about it as they assumed he would dump me when he wanted more kids. They didn't see a future for us and thought he would mess me about. But I told them it was more likely I would dump him for an even younger fella!

I don't worry about him training young women. I totally trust him. We never talk about his work either, he is too much of a gentleman to tell me who is working with. What would I gain from that information anyway, it is just his job?

I didn't have my daughter until I was 40 so we won't be able to have a child, but he is fine with that. Andy is very streetwise and has been through a lot. He has been the sole parent to his child, so he is very grown up for his age, and not immature like some 30-year-olds.

I try not to talk about turning 50, to me it's just a number. I don't want to sound arrogant but I think I look quite good for my age. I guess I shouldn't worry about the big 5 0, but I think most women dread this particular milestone.

I have made it plain that I don't want to get married. I have been married before and would never do it again. Andy doesn't want to get married either he doesn't have the time or the energy to organise it. He hasn't been married before, but I stated that I will not even consider it. In my opinion marriage is a waste of money. I would rather put my money into property than another pricey wedding day.

Andy says, “In my opinion Sam's a good honest Women. A good mum with a heart of gold. Age hasn't been a problem so far and I can't ever seeing it becoming an issue. We understand each other we get on and have lots of fun! We don't need to question each other or constantly second guess each other which makes for a refreshing change, so far it's all good.

 

Tom, 33 & Helen Baker, 44 Canterbury

I met Tom an operations manager at a party about six years ago in New Zealand, we got on really well, but he had a girlfriend, but a few days later he contacted me via Facebook to say how much he enjoyed meeting me. I really fancied him but I said there was no way we would meet up if he had a partner. So that day he dumped her!

I did feel a bit guilty that he dumped this girl for me. However, Tom reassured me that it wasn't really serious, they were friends when they got together and had only been dating for a short while. I even met her at a social engagement and she was fine, and told me there were no hard feelings. I don't think she saw a future in their relationship.

We moved in together after only a month as I was having accommodation issues with my kids Mia 13, James 10. Tom offered to rent a house for all of us. We eventually bought a house, renovated it and then Tom decided it would be a good idea to move back to the UK and I agreed to go with him! It was a risk but it paid off. It was a big move, especially as I was older, had children and I had no friends over in UK. Tom said you have to get out there and make them, luckily now I have made four social groups. I had to make the effort but it had paid off. To be honest the hardest thing about moving to the UK was getting used to the road side markings and just finding my way around! There are a lot more opportunities in the UK and I was excited to come over.

Some of my mates have called me a cougar, just for a bit of jokey fun. When they meet him, he never gives off any vibe that he is much younger than me. He has an old soul and is a real gent. He doesn't come across as a toy boy.

Tom's friends said a few negative things when we first got together. He was only 26 and some of his mates said as I was separated with two kids, that he didn't know what he was getting himself into. I was still married as well, so I guess I came with some additional baggage! Some men run a mile from that sort of responsibility.

That didn't phase him. It is fine now. One of his friends really didn't like it me at all, but he is fine now, we have our own child, Oscar, 3 and have been married for over a year. He can see we are going to be together forever.

I have a lot of trust in Tom and he really looked after me and the kids right from the start. We came here for his work opportunities and there wasn't a lot holding me back. I have some family but we are not particularly close.

The age gap only matters when we tell people in the pub, otherwise I don't think it matters and you can hardly tell anyway. Most people mistake me for being in my mid 30s, I have no strict skin regime or botox and I dress quite young. To be honest I struggled a bit getting my body back in shape after having a baby, but so do most women. I try not to think about the age gap, ask me at 55 and I might think differently.

Tom says, “It's not anything to do with your age. I just love her. Her age never bothered me once. If you are in love, you are in love, it's as simple as that.”

 

Adam, 29 & Rebecca Giacopazzi 40 London

We met in 2010 and we were just work mates to begin with. I had no intention of starting a relationship with him. But after a while it was obvious we were falling for each other. From that point our relationship moved quite quickly and we lived together after a few months. However, we kept the relationship a secret for as long as we could.

We did this at the beginning mainly because we wanted to be sure of where we were going as there was a lot at stake, due to the fact that we had been really good friends for a couple of years before hand.

Our family and friends were all very happy for us both, when they all eventually found out. The business that we work in with its ever changing variety of cast members & expressive individuals, is really fast moving and so we are always surrounded by many different colourful characters.

Therefore it is not too out of the ordinary to be in a relationship where there is an age difference, but it probably is more quickly accepted in our chosen profession along with different races, religions & genders. So why not age? I don't feel embarrassed that my life partner is 10 years younger than me. We've both learnt along the way what, that there is no need to feel uncomfortable about who we are. We have the freedom, support and understanding of our friends and the people we meet along the way, and that is more than enough.

We are now married after tying the knot in Greenwich in April 2014 and we had a romantic honeymoon in Venice. It is not too late to start a family so we still plan on having a family pretty soon.

We don't think the age gap is a problem, it is only an issue if you let it become one. I did worry he might replace me for a younger model, but that was only when we first dated, now I know how much he loves me.

Adam says, Rebecca and I are best friends and soul mates. You click with someone or you don't. There can even be people your age that you might not get on with at all! Who's to say that just because you are the same age that you are meant to 'be together'. We don't even think about the age difference at all. Rebecca brought it up in the beginning as we needed to make sure we wanted the same things from a relationship & around the same time other than that it doesn't come up at all.

 

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